SNARK WEEK: Tit Swags –
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I have a feeling I’m going to upset some costumers and re-enactors with this post, but we need to talk about tit swags, people. Like head necklaces, tit swags are a trope that arose out of a misunderstanding of what was being seen in historical portraiture, then Hollywood just ran with it.
So, what is a tit swag, you ask? Like its head necklace counterpart, tit swags typically show up as a necklace that has been pinned to the front of a bodice and looks as if the necklace is suspended by the nipples. Though by no means exclusive to a particular film era, tit swags usually are found in movies set in the 16th century.
Eleanor of Aquitaine only threatened us with the idea.
Lest you think we let our favorite films off the hook during Snark Week, I will point out that 1) I love Anne of the Thousand Days (1969) and think the costumes are fabulous, and 2) those pearls are definitely suspended at nipple level. Pretty much textbook tit swag.
A subtle example from Las Aventuras del Capitan Alatriste (2015).
Sometimes the swag is suspended close to the armpits, or in this example from The Musketeers (2014-16), affixed to whatever that funky shoulder strap is supposed to be.
I tried really hard to find a better image of this scene from Henry VIII (2008) where Emily Blunt is rocking the tit swag, but this will have to do. It looks to me like it’s a long chain suspended from the neckline, but it’s been ages since I’ve watched this show. BTW, this is another gown from Anne of the Thousand Days that has had a number of overhauls over the years.
I’m counting this from The Tudors (2007-10) as a tit swag, even though it’s less swag-y than the other examples.
I gave up trying to figure out what was going on with this bodice, from Bathory: Countess of Blood (2008), but I finally decided it falls into tit swag territory.
“But Sarah,” I can hear the screams already, “I can document tit swags in 16th-century portraits!”
Ah, but can you? Like the head necklace, there are a handful of historical portraits that, if examined uncritically, could lead one to mistakenly believe that tit swags are a legit documentable thing. Let’s examine some examples:
Portrait of Margaret of France, by Clouet, c. 1560.
Some people would say this is totally an example of a period tit swag, however, I will point out two things:
First, notice where the swag appears to end. It looks like it terminates at her armpits, and not suspended by her nipples.
Second, look closer:
The swag actually appears to attach higher up on her shoulder, which argues that this is probably a necklace that actually is pinned along the shoulder line and disappears into the shoulder rolls.
Oh, sure, that’s just my conjecture. How do I know for certain that it actually is a necklace that loops around her shoulders? Well, ok, I don’t know for 100% certain, but I do happen to have documentation that supports the supposition:
Portrait of a woman by Clouet, c. 1560
Please refer to the giant red arrow pointing at the double strand of pearls following the line of the sitter’s shoulder.
Want another example?
Catherine de Medici, by a follower of Clouet, c. 1565-1570.
I can do this all day…
Portrait of Jeanne d’Albret, by Clouet.
Portrait of Anna d’Este, by Clouet.
Margot de Valois, by Clouet, 1572.
Portrait of Beatrix Pacheco, Countess of Montbel and Entremonts, by Clouet, c. 1550.
Why so many examples by Clouet, you ask? Well, for starters he was a prolific painter of fashionable women in the 16th century. Second, he’s incredibly detailed, so you do see these tiny little details which might otherwise be lost to lesser painters. Seriously, you can’t go wrong with François Clouet if you’re at all interested in 16th-century female clothing.
Anyway, I think I’ve made my point. Tit swags are not a thing.