Trump Promises Republicans They ‘Will Not Lose An Election for 100 Years’ If They Do What He Says

There once was a man with great flair,
Who said “Communism? I don’t care!
To lose in midterms,
We must all be dimwits,
Foolish, stupid, and unprepared.”

Fireworks, Heat And Politics: America Celebrates Its 250th Birthday

The Declaration was signed with great praise
A historic and democratic blaze
It’s celebrated today
In numerous display
As we honor its revolutionary days

‘Sick, Sick People’: Critics Torch Fox News Host After Outrageous Attack On James Talarico

There once was a woman named Emily
Who made a strange claim so grimly
She smeared the Senate candidate
In a manner so irate
With allegations truly bizarre and timely

Trump Pardons Former Abramoff Partner, 9 People Convicted Of Violating Vehicle Emissions Controls

There once was a president named Trump
Who pardoned his friends with a thump
Clemency he would show
To all in his know
In his second term, he did jump

Trump Mocked After ‘Thieves, Radicals And Lunatics’ Line Backfires Spectacularly

There once was a president whose
Comments were a bit too verbose
His windfall was grand
Since returning to land
In the White House, he struck quite a pose.

Dave Chappelle Answers ‘Loaded Question’ About America With Blunt Message For Trump

There once was a comic so bold
Who spoke of America, so I’m told
He shared his views with glee
In a limerick, you’ll see
His comedy, witty and gold

This Latest Development In Taylor Swift And Travis Kelce’s Rumored Wedding Has Sparked Major Backlash

There once was a billionaire named Heather,
Who made life hard for fun, altogether.
On the 4th of July,
She would make people cry,
Her pleasure brought pain, altogether.

Police Investigate A Shopping Mall Shooting That Left 2 Dead In Suburban Detroit

There once was a mall in the city,
Evacuated after a shooting spree.
Police closed it down tight,
Investigating day and night,
Hoping to solve this mystery.

23 World Cup Players Who Are So Ridiculously Hot I Almost Forgot There Was A Tournament Happening

Try your hardest not to drool
Eating ice cream by the pool
Temptation is strong
But you must stay strong
Or else you’ll look like a fool.

NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani Marks America’s 250th, Makes Pointed Contrast To Trump

There once was a speech, quite astute,
Rebuking the president’s brute,
No name was said,
But clear points were spread,
Against exclusion, the speaker took root.

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