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There once was a man from Tennessee
Whose lawyer argued quite cleverly
The failed execution
Of Christa Pike’s retribution
To save him from his felony

There once was a lawyer quite bold
Who claimed a retreat was pure gold
At a Trump-friendly site
Said it would be a delight
A gift for the American fold

There once was a teen from afar,
Who thought he’d buy a gun, oh what a bizarre,
He paid an FBI agent,
For an AK-47, quite flagrant,
Now he’s arrested, behind bars, oh how bizarre!

There once was a senator named Mike,
Whose new ad caused quite a spike,
Attacking tariffs on Canada,
But forgot to mention the planner,
Now he’s in a bit of a strike.

There once was a president, quite bold,
Who wanted his name on the show’s mold,
Threatened to destroy,
The arts center’s joy,
But in the end, the plan was unrolled.

There once was a woman named Pike,
Angry and confused, what a strike!
Survived an execution,
With no restitution,
Randy Spivey, her attorney, to like.

A promise the state did not keep,
To seek future execution, a leap,
Said Pike’s attorney with dread,
A long road to recovery ahead,
In court, the battle goes deep.

There once was a Fox News personality
Who said Republicans will fail with much clarity
People don’t think beyond cash
In the midterms they’ll crash
Their wallets will dictate the majority’s rarity.

There once were students who vowed
To protest the violence allowed
They refused to spend
On campus to amend
For complaints the university has plowed

There once were some students quite severe,
Their actions brought punishment near,
Assault, hazing, and drink,
Made the school board blink,
Suspension now makes it all clear.