There once was a girl named Kelly,
Who found things to be a bit smelly,
She said, “It’s so on the nose,
In terms of attention, it glows,
Just so gauche, it’s making me jelly.”
There once was a man with great flair,
Who said “Communism? I don’t care!
To lose in midterms,
We must all be dimwits,
Foolish, stupid, and unprepared.”
The Declaration was signed with great praise
A historic and democratic blaze
It’s celebrated today
In numerous display
As we honor its revolutionary days
There once was a woman named Emily
Who made a strange claim so grimly
She smeared the Senate candidate
In a manner so irate
With allegations truly bizarre and timely
There once was a president named Trump
Who pardoned his friends with a thump
Clemency he would show
To all in his know
In his second term, he did jump
There once was a president whose
Comments were a bit too verbose
His windfall was grand
Since returning to land
In the White House, he struck quite a pose.
There once was a comic so bold
Who spoke of America, so I’m told
He shared his views with glee
In a limerick, you’ll see
His comedy, witty and gold
There once was a billionaire named Heather,
Who made life hard for fun, altogether.
On the 4th of July,
She would make people cry,
Her pleasure brought pain, altogether.
There once was a mall in the city,
Evacuated after a shooting spree.
Police closed it down tight,
Investigating day and night,
Hoping to solve this mystery.
Try your hardest not to drool
Eating ice cream by the pool
Temptation is strong
But you must stay strong
Or else you’ll look like a fool.