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There once was a shooter in town,
A driver, a dad, friends around,
They tried to stop the teen,
In a brave, valiant scene,
Against evil, they stood their ground.

There once was a driver in Wichita,
In custody he was led that day.
Police Capt. Moses,
Said the driver poses,
A threat that he must keep at bay.

There once was a commentator from ESPN,
Who dined at the White House with three famous men,
Kid Rock and Maher were there too,
All chatting and laughing, the whole night through,
A dinner to remember for them.

There once was a CNN analyst so sage,
Who warned Republicans are still all the rage.
Though Democrats lead polls,
They must reach their goals,
For the GOP is on the same page.

There once was a man named Steven,
In the water, his fate was unbeaten.
Alligators around,
Made it tough to be found,
His body found two hours after seen.

There once was a Rep. named Don Bacon
Who told fellow Republicans they’re slacking
They won’t support Trump
Their views took a dump
Their agenda’s now lacking.

There once was a man named Cruz,
Who thought the president’s actions were a ruse.
“It was a mistake,” he said with a sigh,
“I wish he hadn’t done it,” Oh my!
In politics, opinions never refuse.

There once was a strategist so deep,
Who claimed Trump was out to sweep,
Blaming others for his loss,
Would come at quite a cost,
In this election, he may not keep.

There once was a police department in Lexington,
Their actions left citizens vexed and beaten,
A 2024 DOJ report,
Exposing their wrongful deport,
Their violation of rights was their sin.

There once was a chef named José Andrés,
Known worldwide for his culinary displays,
His dishes were sublime,
Stood the test of time,
In the kitchen, he spent his days.