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There once was a lawyer named Crump,
Whose client’s case felt like a stump.
The grand jury’s report,
Left them feeling out of sorts,
More questions arose with each jump.

There once was a man feeling tight,
The walls closing in, quite a sight,
Desperate was he,
Oh, what could it be?
J. Michael Luttig’s words shed some light.

There once was a host of “Last Word”
Who noted the president’s fixation absurd
A deep-seated “hatred” he did find
For a late figure in his mind
This core obsession he just couldn’t curb

A former Navatek executive
Found D.C.’s spending excessive
“It’s all for sale,”
He said with a wail
In the capital, money is extensive

There once was a boy, twenty-seven,
His struggles were far from heaven,
With addiction and such,
He spoke out so much,
Crawford’s son, in a whirlwind of leaven.

There once was a late-night legend
Whose take on the “authoritarian” administration did mend
Now finding new life
On social media, rife
With laughter and truth, his words extend

There once was an admin named Mamdani,
Whose settlement caused quite a frenzy,
The largest to date,
In this labor debate,
A historic win, as they all agreed.

There once was a girl named Zelda
Whose father’s fans were quite a swelda
Using AI to manipulate
Made her quite irate
Let her father rest, she did tell-a

There once was a group from the states,
Unconvinced by the admin’s debates.
They found the finger-pointing lame,
In polling, they weren’t to blame,
For distrust still lingers and waits.

There once was a star with great fame
Found unresponsive, what a shame
In a South Carolina flat
They lay there, that was that
Their age was 36, what a game.