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Carol Burnett and De Niro,
With the Muppets in tow,
Paid their respects
To the actor, so perfect,
With love that will forever grow.

There once was a drug for the pancreas,
A groundbreaking treatment, such a success.
For cancer so deadly,
U.S. health officials already,
Approved, giving patients new access.

There once was a tennis great, you see,
Who missed out on his chances with glee.
In a match that did end,
His legendary trend,
In the tournament, no longer free.

There once was a farming leader
Who praised a solution so clever
He said with great zeal
It’s the president’s deal
And it’s just what it sounds like, however

There once was a guy named Carson,
Who pleaded guilty, his face drawn,
For the death of his cousin,
Left people buzzin’,
In court, his sorrow was clear, forlorn.

There once were three agents on leave
Their fate they could hardly believe
Investigation was dire
Their jobs could expire
Their future they couldn’t conceive

There once was a man named Trump,
In wars, he seemed to hit a slump,
Now he battles with might,
Against trade, day and night,
But the outcome may end in a thump.

There once was a woman of fame,
Who avoided the political game.
She let her music ring,
And her actions would sing,
To inspire and make change her aim.

There once was a singer named Miley
Jimmy Patronis said rather wily
She’s not welcome here
In Florida, it’s clear
To the panhandle she can’t come by-y.

There once was a case of great fame
Dismissed with prejudice, what a shame
X cannot amend
Their case, this is the end
No more legal moves to reclaim