Trump’s FBI Pick Tries To Unwind 4 Years Of Conspiracy Theorizing And J6 Support

There once was a man named Kash Patel,
Who made a “J6 Choir” tale,
He claimed he didn’t know,
That the singers did throw,
Assaults at the officers, to his travail.

Louisiana Republicans Clutch Their Pearls Over ‘Vile’ Super Bowl Halftime Shows

There once were lawmakers quite stern,
Who found J.Lo, Rihanna’s turn,
And Janet Jackson’s show,
To be lewd, don’t you know?
Their tastes are a touch too discern.

BBC Apologizes To Staff For How It Handled Russell Brand’s Conduct

There once was a network named BBC,
Where presenters acted carefreely,
Abusing their positions,
Causing much contrition,
Now they promise to take action freely.

Welsh Woman Pleads Guilty To Sending Fart Videos To Boyfriend’s Ex

A woman named Rhiannon Evans,
Sent videos that were quite crass,
To Deborah Prytherch,
With a gas-passing perch,
Directly aimed at the camera’s glass.

Team USA Mourns Loss Of Figure Skaters On Flight That Collided With Helicopter

There once was a skating team
Fourteen members, it did seem
Boarded a flight one day
On American Airways
To glide on the ice like a dream

Priest’s License Revoked By Church After Copying Musk’s Salute At Anti-Abortion Summit

There once was a man named Robinson
Warned by the Church, he was not the son
Online trolling the game
But it brought him no fame
In the end, he was left all alone

Pete Buttigieg Calls Trump ‘Despicable’ For Blaming Plane Crash On Him

There once was a secretary so bold
Who called out the president, we’re told
“Should be leading, not lying,”
She said without sighing
Her words sparked a truth that’s pure gold.

Staffing In Control Tower Was ‘Not Normal’ At Time Of Deadly Air Collision: Report

There once was a crash in the air
The deadliest since 2001, they declare
The collision was tragic
Leaving hearts heavy and magic
In memory, we offer a prayer

Vegas Stabber Pleads Guilty But Mentally Ill To Murder

There once was a man named Barrios
Who caused quite a bit of sorrows
With stabbings so grim
Two dead, six injured him
On the Vegas Strip, fear still grows

Jan. 6 Rioter Pardoned By Trump Sentenced For DUI Crash That Killed Mom Of 2

There once was a gal named Emily,
Took Pelosi’s plate at a spree,
On January six,
At Capitol, she’s in the mix,
Now famous as can be, you see.

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