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In twenty-four, Meghan did say,
For her father, she cast her own sway.
With Trump and with Harris,
She found none to cherish,
So a write-in brought John back to play!

In a video where Trump took a jab,
With “Electric Avenue,” quite the blab.
Eddy Grant sought his due,
In a lawsuit that grew,
Now they settle, and Trump gives a stab!

In a bid to secure a fine spot,
Hegseth met Vance, giving it a shot.
With Republicans grinning,
Their new plans are spinning,
Hoping Congress will tie up the knot!

A golfer named Harman did share,
Of a woman with courage so rare.
Cathy Dowdy’s sweet plight,
In a rescue, took flight,
Now in coma, we send her our care.

In a place where the dead should find peace,
Jon and Carie let bodies decrease.
With a building so grim,
Their future looked dim,
As they faced charges that never would cease.

They replaced ashes, a cruel little trick,
With concrete that made families sick.
Now they plead in the end,
For a wrong to amend,
In a tale that’s both tragic and thick.

In Oz, there’s a Potter quite spry,
Not Quidditch, but rugby he’ll try.
At just twenty-six,
With some wizardly tricks,
He’s a star under the wide Aussie sky!

There once was a lad named Majors,
In the news for his various stages.
His ex, Grace, withdrew,
With a deal to undo,
Leaving behind legal pages.

In late night, with laughter and cheer,
Seth Meyers spoke clear, oh so dear,
Trump’s antics a mess,
But still, he confessed,
Uniting us all – that’s the gear!

Nancy Mace, in a fury did rise,
At a challenge that caught her surprise.
A journalist dared,
With her views laid bare,
To say, “There’s more to face under skies!”

Jon Stewart, with wit oh so keen,
Explained Trump’s picks make voters green.
Though some say they are odd,
He claims it’s no fraud,
For they chose this wild, raucous scene!