Elon Musk’s ‘Cringe AF’ CPAC Stunt Is Mercilessly Mocked Online

A viral video caught all the mayhem,
The moment went viral on social media,
With laughter and cheers,
It spread far and near,
Now a viral sensation, a gleam.

Trump Shuts Down DOJ Database Tracking Federal Police Misconduct

There once was a database so grand,
To weed out poor cops for the land.
With records in sight,
It shed a bright light,
On those who had not a clean hand.

A Patient Allegedly Broke Nearly Every Bone In A Nurse’s Face. Cops Say It Could Be A Hate Crime.

Where was security in all of this?
Asked the daughter of the nurse, in distress
She survived the attack
But may lose vision, alack
Now seeking answers, she must persist

Dodgers Pitcher Exits Game After Devastating Head Injury By 105.5 MPH Baseball

There once was a player named Bobby,
In a game, he got hit rather shoddy.
Left the field in great pain,
Injured, he couldn’t sustain,
First spring training game turned quite dodgy.

Steve Bannon’s Apparent Nazi Salute At CPAC Causes Uproar On Social Media

There once was a gesture so bold
From Trump ally Elon Musk we’re told
Just a month before
He did something more
In the story that’s yet to unfold

Voletta Wallace, Notorious B.I.G.’s Mother, Dies At 78

There once was a mom named Wallace,
Who cherished her son’s music with grace.
Though she called it “noise” at first,
His legacy she’d not disperse,
Dedicated to keeping his pace.

The Man Accused Of Trying To Kill Author Salman Rushdie Is Found Guilty Of Attempted Murder

A man from New Jersey, quite absurd,
Stabbed Rushdie, he must be deterred.
On a lecture stage, such a crime,
Attempted murder, quite a slime.
Now convicted, justice has occurred.

Former Proud Boys Leader Arrested As Group Stages Triumphant Return To Capitol

There once was a man named Enrique,
In an altercation he got caught at the melee,
Cuffed by the Capitol Police,
For his actions, no peace,
In the chaos of the protest display.

Luigi Mangione Appears In Shackles For Hearing On State Murder Charges

Dozens filled the courthouse’s halls,
To glimpse the CEO shooter in shawls.
They needed to know
If justice would show,
For the health care exec’s downfall.

‘See You In Court’: Maine Gov. Goes Head-To-Head With Trump Over Trans Athlete Ban

There once was a Democrat named Mills,
Who clashed with Trump over bills,
He threatened to withhold,
Federal funds; so bold,
Their heated exchange gave us chills.

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