Tesla’s First Quarter Earnings Are Out, And They’re Real, Real Bad

There once was a driver named Chuck,
Who always remembered to tuck,
His seatbelt in place,
With a smile on his face,
For safety, he never ran amok.

Andre Agassi To Play At U.S. Open Pickleball Championships Next Week

There once was a legend, so fine,
In tennis, he would often shine.
Now he’s trying a new game,
And building a new name,
A champion in sports of all kind.

A Woman Hugs The Man Who Fatally Shot Her Brother And 22 More In A Racist Attack At A Texas Walmart

There once was a man who killed many,
Families faced him in court, not any
Held back their contempt,
For the lives he had spent,
Justice sought by those without penny.

CNN Data Chief Spots Blistering Scenario Trump Wouldn’t Be Able To ‘Escape’

There once was a man named Enten,
Who gave the president a reality check, amen.
His words were so brutal,
On the blame game’s rebuttal,
Harry’s truth hit like a hurricane.

Sebastian Stan Names 1 Thing He Thinks Trump Liked About ‘The Apprentice’

There once was an actor, so bold
Who played Trump, both brash and cold
He bet the president’s seen
His performance so keen
In a film that has garnered much gold

John Bolton Predicts Exactly When Trump Will Boot Hegseth From Pentagon

There once was a man named Trump
Whose adviser said with a thump
“Take the garbage out!”
With no room for doubt
A reminder that was quite blunt

Jake Tapper Tears Into CBS Owner For Bending ‘The Knee’ To Trump In The Most Cynical Way

There once was a host from CNN
Who discussed the exit of men
The “60 Minutes” boss
Cited lack of free toss
As he left with a wave of his pen.

Jimmy Kimmel Calls Pete Hegseth On His ‘Bulls**t’ With Damning 4-Word Reality Check

There once was a host known for sass,
Who put a defense sec on blast.
His scandal was bad,
But the host was quite mad,
And grilled him until he was past.

Jasmine Crockett Trolls GOP With Blunt Reminder About ‘Fearless Leader’ Trump

There once was a lawmaker from Texas,
Who called out Republicans for their tricks.
Their hypocrisy showed,
On law and order, they crowed,
But their actions left many in a fix.

Pope Francis, Argentine Pontiff Who Preached A Welcoming Church, Dies

There once was a pope from Latin
Who spoke out on social injustice, that’s flat in
His legacy’s complex
But he sure had no hex
On the world stage, he left quite a lasting impact, in.

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