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There once was a woman named Svetlana,
Who tried to stowaway on a banana.
She now faces some time,
In a prison, oh my,
For her crime, there’s no plea or nirvana.

There once was a state in a fix,
With a veto worth thirty-five bricks,
Governor Kelly’s mistake,
Caused quite a headache,
Now they’re scrambling to find a quick fix.

There once was a case of assault,
In court, the truth came to exalt,
Megan Thee Stallion’s lawyer did state,
It’s not about political debate,
But justice for the victim’s halt.

There once was a man from Venezuela
Who pretended he was just a teenager
He got caught in a lie
And now he must comply
With the consequences he must endure.

There once was a man named Rahm
Who explained what would lead to calm
Voters turning to Dems
In their chaotic stems
As a check on the president’s harm

There once was a host of “Daily Show”
Who claimed Democrats need to grow
Sowing seeds for a new start
A reinvention, a fresh part
In the party, they must go

There once was a bond market so tame,
But when it got riled, it wasn’t the same.
With a punch that could sting,
It could make the bulls sing,
And the bears quickly change up their game.

There once was a man named Khalil,
Whose child he longed to hold still,
But his attorneys claimed
Political retaliation, aimed
At preventing him from his thrill.

There once was a man named Ronny Chieng,
Suggested a new name for a thing,
For legislation in sight,
To reflect GOP’s might,
In spending, their priorities sing.

There once was a man quite proficient,
Whose audience skills were deficient.
The Late Show did mock,
As he met with the Pope,
The vice president’s skills insufficient.