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There once was a chair of the Fed
Who warned of the policies spread
Trump’s tariffs and immigration
Would cause a great financial sensation
So be cautious, the chair said

There once were some workers, quite bold,
In D.C., they were caught in the fold.
Delivering for DoorDash,
Their freedom did crash,
Immigrants in a story untold.

The Pentagon and Army did decree,
That troops would not carry guns, you see.
For safety concerns they had to beware,
But many were left feeling quite scared,
When defenseless they’d have to be.

There once were two pandas quite sweet
Who turned one year old on a neat
A candle made of bamboo
And frozen veggies, who knew?
Their birthday was truly a treat

There once were princess finalists ten
Whose heads were carved live in a den
At the Fair they did shine
In likeness so fine
For all to see, again and again.

There once was a college in Michigan,
Joining the MAGA pile-on began.
Critics had thoughts on the chain,
Their rebranding was seen as a pain,
Hillsdale College joined the plan.

There once was a man quite astute,
Who brought up a subject acute,
In an interview long,
He knew he wasn’t wrong,
His words made a strong resolute.

Nothing says ‘welcome to the fire service’ like
Gear that’s heavy and smoke that’ll spike
Training for hours, courage within
Saving lives is where they begin
Heroes in red, always ready to strike

There once was a sneaky old bunch
Of lawmakers, up to no good hunch
In the middle of night
They caused quite a fright
State Sen. Smith’s words pack a punch

There once was a governor from Cali
Who mimicked the president, oh my
He had a serious reason
For this political season
In hopes to win votes, give it a try