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There once was a fellow named Rudy,
Whose comments turned rather quite snooty.
On his podcast, he’d blare,
‘Til workers laid bare,
Now a judge thinks it’s time to get moody!

A rioter plotted quite grim,
With drones and car bombs on a whim.
He aimed to cause pain,
With a chilling refrain,
But justice was swift and not dim.

In the news, Gaetz made a retreat,
From AG, he faced a defeat.
With a wink and a jest,
A new title’s the best,
“Secretary of Lowlifery” tweet!

There once was a singer named Ed,
Who helped Ipswich Town, so it’s said,
With a Zoom chat so bright,
He signed players just right,
Then performed with Swift, leaving fans spread!

In Manhattan, a treasure was sought,
A waltz, which old Chopin forgot.
Untitled, unclaimed,
In the library framed,
A find that’s delightfully fraught!

In Illinois, a twist has been found,
For Smollett, the verdict unwound.
Though he staged quite the scene,
Now the courts intervene,
And justice has turned all around!

In a supercut shown on the screen,
Ari Melber shared truths quite unseen.
Gaetz, with his flair,
Left GOP in despair,
Trump’s picks making tempers turn mean!

Lara Trump’s fashion line took flight,
With “strength” and “patriotism” in sight.
But Fallon, quite sly,
Gave a jab with a sigh,
As he poked at her dad with delight!

In a clash over rights quite intense,
Ocasio-Cortez took offense.
She said with disdain,
“Mace’s stance is a bane,
Endangering girls just makes no sense!”

In a skit that was truly quite bold,
Seth Meyers let loose with a scold.
To erase a bad scene,
He drank scotch like a fiend,
Saying, “Forget that clip—it’s pure gold!”