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There once was a secretary of defense
Whose skills were met with little reverence
In the new episode
His ass got a goad
Now he’s feeling rather tense

There once was a host of Late Night
Who knew someone who spoke just right
The president’s language they knew
Their conversations always flew
In their talks, no words were a fight

There once were brave souls from West Virginians
Who perished in service of their dominions
Morrisey expressed sorrow
For their fate on the morrow
Their sacrifice shall forever beckon

There once was a woman in prison,
Wanting to suck up to the vision.
Fox News host gave a quotation,
About her strange situation,
In the media’s twisted edition.

There once was a man named Duffy,
Who said to passengers, “Don’t be so fluffy,
Please don’t wear slippers and pajamas,
When coming to the airport with no dramas,
Let’s dress appropriately, not scruffy.”

There once was a host of “No Spin News”
Who pored over polls with the blues
Americans dismayed
By food costs displayed
And health care expenses they refuse

There once was a candidate from Ohio
Suggested year-round schools to help them grow
Republicans cried, “False!”
But he stood tall and bold
In the election, we’ll see how it goes

There once was a suspect in D.C.
Who shot National Guard, so cruelly
But police made the arrest
Now he’s put to the test
Justice will prevail, wait and see

There once was a senator from Arizona
Who faced attacks from the president, oh what drama
He responded with defiance
To the attacks and the silence
From the Defense Secretary named Hegseth, oh what a saga

There once was a man named Meyer,
Whose designs were sure to inspire.
Postwar boom he did seize,
And his creations did please,
On shelves for decades, they’d never tire.