There once was a lad named Sturdivant,
Charged with aiding a terrorist rant,
At just eighteen years old,
His future’s on hold,
For his actions, he’ll surely recant.
There once was a woman named Jones,
Whose body was found on New Year’s Day,
At thirty-four years old,
Her story untold,
In mystery her fate still remains unknown.
There once was a Late Show host so wise,
Who learned from billionaires’ great prize.
He got blunt and he said,
With a shake of his head,
“Money’s power, but kindness does rise.”
There once was a doctor named Reiner,
Who found Trump’s statements a bit finer,
His medication use,
Left him quite confused,
Baffled by the president’s designer.
There once was a host named Abby
Who responded quite bluntly and savvy
To a pundit who defended
With views that were mended
She shut him down, leaving him crabby.
There once was a man named Terry,
Who called out Chase for acting contrary.
As SNL’s first gay star,
He spoke out from afar,
And didn’t hold back, not one bit, not any.
There once was a bidder so great,
In Wall Street he held all the weight,
But the president sneered,
When his bid was cleared,
Said it was just “peanuts,” not first-rate.
There once was a phenom so bold,
In politics, her story was told.
A democratic-socialist star,
Watched closely, near and far,
Her journey, a tale to unfold.
There once were officials so grand,
For the National Links Trust they did stand,
“Devastated,” they cried,
When the decision was tried,
Their hopes dashed, like castles in sand.
There once were some folks in a pickle,
No insurance from work, what a trickle.
No Medicaid or Medicare,
They were left in despair,
The change hit a cross-section so fickle.