There once was a Late Show host, quite fit
Who got applause for a line that was a hit
But then he threw cold water
On the moment, like a squatter
His response was surely a bit unfit
There once was a CNN anchor
Whose words made the editor smirk
With just six words he did thank her
As the news from the network did work
A knowing smile from The Atlantic banker
There once was anchor named Kaitlan Collins,
Who saw a crack in Sheehy’s argument wall-ins.
In Montana he’s a Republican,
But his logic was quite undone,
As Kaitlan pointed out all the tall spins.
The world’s biggest trade bloc holds a lot of cards,
Ready to retaliate, it guards
With a good plan in place,
Top officials embrace,
In disputes, they won’t be caught off guard.
There once was a host quite bold,
Who gave the president a parody boost,
With jokes that were funny and true,
Making the audience all chuckle and hoot,
The “Tonight Show” host was on a roll.
Regarding DOGE, the president added,
“I think it will end,” he had stated.
But the meme coin still thrives,
Despite all the dives,
To the moon it seems undaunted.
There once was a boy named Miller
In Costa Rica, a tragedy thriller
Brett Gardner’s son, just fourteen
His loss, so unforeseen
In hearts, his memory will linger
There once was a court with a seat,
The winner would make it complete,
A liberal control,
Or a conservative stroll,
For 15 years, they’d compete.
There once was a man named Garcia
Who made a mistake, oh how bizarre
Officials said he can’t be brought back
As he’s no longer in U.S. sack
Now he’s free as a bird, la-di-da
There once was a show about The Beatles,
With actors that were top of the fleets.
Mescal played Paul,
Quinn was George, the cool stall,
And Keoghan and Dickinson were treats.