Dispute Over U.S. Gymnast Jordan Chiles’ Olympic Medal Takes A New Turn

There once was a runner named Chiles
Whose medal was taken with wiles
But from Paris Olympic’s appeal
The bronze may be hers, no ordeal
She hopes for reinstatement with smiles.

Olympic Snowboarder Arrest Triggers Fresh Sovereignty Concerns in Mexico

There are clashing accounts we’ve obtained
Of how Ryan Wedding was detained
Some say he complied
While others have lied
The truth may never be explained.

Donald Trump Just Admits It Out Loud: ‘I Want To Drive House Prices Up’ For Homeowners

There once was a president in power,
Whose remarks caused quite a loud clamor,
Accused of giving the bird,
To the young ones, absurd,
Backlash came in a fierce shower.

Jimmy Kimmel Taunts Trump With All-Too-Real Answer To Melania’s ‘Softest’ Question

There once was a host late at night
Who mocked Fox News with great delight
For asking the first lady
An absurd question shady
It was truly a ridiculous sight

Donald Trump Repulses Critics With ‘WTF’ Comment About Doug Burgum’s Wife

There once was a president who,
Creeped out social media, it’s true,
Appointed Burgum quite sly,
As interior secretary, why?
The reasons remain a hullabaloo.

‘All Accurate, Except’: Stephen Colbert Trolls Melania Trump With 1 Epic Fact-Check

There once was a “Late Show” host so merry,
Who mocked the first lady, quite contrary,
Over her documentary,
Causing quite a fracas, quite contrary,
But his jokes were not received too kindly.

Lady Gaga Pauses Tokyo Show To Condemn ICE Actions Under Donald Trump

In a couple of days, I’m going home
My heart aches and starts to roam
The pop star did say
In an impassioned way
About America, where she did comb

Paul Krugman Warns How Donald Trump ‘Will Make Americans Measurably Poorer’

There once was an economist renowned
Who said the world’s bonds were unwound
“The US is in the rearview,”
He said with a view,
“We’re moving toward a new profound.”

Critics Torch Trump After Shocking Middle-Of-The-Night Attack On Alex Pretti

There once was a president, renown,
Who tweeted ’bout Pretti’s stock down,
At 1:26 a.m.,
He fired off a gem,
In a tweet that caused quite a frown.

Lindsey Vonn’s Olympic Prep Takes Scary Turn After World Cup Crash

There once was an Olympian so great,
Left limping with a knee in a state,
Winter games brought her fame,
But now in pain, what a shame,
Keeping weight off her knee is her fate.

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