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The president was filled with shock,
Complaining about the upcoming talk,
Arranged by Kid Rock,
With a comic who’d mock,
In a meeting that was sure to unlock.

There once was a president bold,
Who wanted to seek another hold,
Despite what the Constitution said,
He might run again, it is said,
But the rules must be followed, we’re told.

There once was a market so bold,
With neck-twisting swings, we are told.
Uncertainty abounds,
Trump’s tariffs confound,
In U.S. stocks, the story is told.

There once was a governor from Minnesota,
Who had a response quite superior,
To a billionaire’s scheme,
He debunked it with steam,
And left him feeling quite inferior.

A journey unexpected, they say,
Williams and Wilmore convey.
No blame, just lessons to learn,
For the twists and turns they did discern,
Their mission continues, come what may.

A large faculty group did explain,
Legal profession under strain,
Trump’s enemies in sight,
They’re ready to fight,
In support, their rare letter did claim.

There once was a girl named Giuffre
In the hospital she had to stay
It was a serious mishap
But she’ll soon be back on track
Wishing her a speedy recovery, we pray

There once was an actor so keen,
Who thought he had to intervene.
“I thought he had to go,
To the potty, you know,”
Just a funny little scene.

There once were two rogue cops named Justin,
Who turned off their cameras on a whim.
They broke into a place,
And stole cash with no trace,
Now justice must catch up with them.

There once was a MAGA influencer,
Who decided to sell her car, with a stir,
For the Tesla mogul’s kid,
Had reduced what he did,
And now she’s feeling the brunt of his spur.