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There once was a man named Kloster,
A conservative ally, no impostor.
General counsel to Gaetz,
He handled the legal debates,
In politics, he was a true roaster.

There once was a woman named Looney
Whose kidneys were failing too soon-y
She got a pig kidney
Which made her feel giddy
Now she’s thriving and counting days looney

There once was a man named Jack Schlossberg
Who called RFK Jr. out on his iceberg
He labeled him a liar
And an antisemite for hire
On social media, causing quite a stir

There once was a mogul in need
From Rikers he wanted to be freed
He said with a scowl
“I need out right now”
His escape plan he tried to succeed

There once was a man named Trump,
Who signed the Laken Riley Act with a thump.
His first piece of legislation,
Caused quite a sensation,
But some saw it as a bump.

There once was a congressman from Long Island,
Picked by Trump, considered quite pliant,
He was seen as quite moderate,
In the House, he’d elaborate,
But his loyalty to Trump was reliant.

Actor Bart Johnson, who’s no nun,
Made a post that offended someone.
He’s sorry, it’s true,
For his “man bun” view,
Now the drama seems to be done.

Trump loyalists on Fox News chim’d in
“If there’s room up there, I think it’d be great,”
After Rep. Anna Paulina Luna wrote, “Let’s get carving!”
To the moon they’d send Trump, with a grin,
A new lunar monument, they can initiate.

There once was a museum in PA,
Dedicated to a flood from back in the day,
But closed it remains,
Due to water that rains,
A leaky interior causing delay.

There once was a controversial order
Threatening teachers who did support her
LGBTQ rights
In the spotlight
Trans students they won’t be ignored.