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There once was a man named Cruz,
Who wanted all Trump’s news,
P. Diddy files too,
To see if it’s true,
That children were left to lose.

The Bulletin, it made quite a claim,
Climate change, pandemics to blame,
Earth’s destruction, they fear,
Near than ever, that’s clear,
In chaos and crisis, we aim.

There once was a man named Paul Daniel,
Who exploited two girls, it was scandal,
Authorities found out,
And there was no doubt,
That justice would soon be handled.

There once was a judge, AliKhan,
Who halted a freeze with a plan,
The action was stopped,
As the clock ticked and popped,
Until Monday, the stay now began.

There once was a press secretary named Leavitt
Who said Medicaid sites would be back in a bit
Amid Trump’s administration’s freeze
She aimed to put everyone at ease
But for now, the program just couldn’t commit.

There once was a president in charge
Whose mass deportations seemed large
Efforts gained steam
In a political scheme
Causing many to feel quite at large

There once was a comic so bold
Who met the Pumpkins frontman, quite cold
He shook his hand,
Then couldn’t withstand
And called Mandel the worst name he was told.

There once was an entrepreneur bright,
Co-chair of a group that took flight,
But he left in a hurry,
When he made Elon worry,
His future now out of sight.

There once was a host named Kelly,
Who showed an innocent man on the telly,
In a mass shooting report,
New emails retort,
What went wrong? It’s quite the melee.

There once was a comedian so clever,
Who said, “Late Night is mine forever.”
He didn’t want competition,
Or any other musician,
His show, he vowed, none would sever.