There once was a man named Pritzker
Who spoke out against tyranny, quite brisker
At his State of the State
He warned of a fate
That was frightening and very risker.
There once was a board quite conservative
Condemning the president’s verbal offensive
They decried the assault
On Ukraine, their default
And Putin’s looming rehab, quite pervasive
There once was a president who’d chime,
Accusing employees of crime.
But what he did daily,
Was act rather shady,
For hypocrisy was his prime.
There once was a president bold
Whose Truth Social post was told
It received a regal dragging
On the internet sagging
His reputation took a scold
There once was a study on gaze,
Avoiding eye contact was the craze,
To reduce confrontation,
And awkward flirtation,
Gaze aversion was the new maze.
There once was a man named Charles
Fired from a defense program, his loss
He said the public should worry
For secrets could be in a hurry
In espionage they might be at a loss
There once was a man named Enten,
Who spoke of a political trend,
Reversing the norm,
In a lively platform,
His insights we eagerly commend.
There once was a Slotkin named Elissa,
Who claimed the U.S. now did dismiss a
Defense of democracy,
To side with the aggressor, you see,
Ukrainians feeling quite the distressa.
There once was a star named Alan,
From high school he had a bold plan,
He dissed a congressman,
With words much too strong,
In GQ, he made quite a grand stand.
There once was a crash unexplained,
The cause could not be ascertained.
Investigators searched for a clue,
But the reason still remained askew,
The mystery of the wreck remained unchained.