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There once was a host on Late Show
Who told a forecaster to know
“Lawyer up,” he advised
After Trump just despised
The Register, Selzer in tow.

There once was a host named “Late Night”,
Who found the congresswoman’s plight.
He said with a frown,
She sounds like a whole rack of tabloids down,
As she talked of the sightings in the night.

There once was a question quite clear,
On how much the Fed would appear,
To cut rates next year,
Causing some fear,
The answer we eagerly peer.

A judge in California decreed,
To surrender his guns, he must heed,
For messaging a teen,
Linked to a school shooting scene,
Now his weapons the law will impede.

There once was a deputy mayor named Brian,
Suspected of causing quite a riot and cryin’,
The LAPD had a hunch,
That he caused quite a bunch,
Of trouble with a bomb threat, no denyin’.

There once was a host named Alisyn,
Who bid CNN a sad goodbye then.
After a long, fruitful run,
Her time at the network is done,
Leaving viewers to wonder why, when.

There once was a DA named Stanford
Who faced accusations quite grand
Though prosecutors claimed
He was not to be blamed
For the gun in his hand did not stand

There once was a man named Chen Jinping,
Who helped set up a secret police wing,
In New York City’s great land,
For the Chinese government’s hand,
Now his guilty plea will likely bring.

There once was a chief from NYPD
Who spoke to Mangione’s mom, so they say
Two days before his arrest
He was put to the test
Now in jail, he must stay.

There once was a man, 26 years old,
Accused of a crime so cold,
Three murders he’s facing,
In New York, no escaping,
For the CEO’s death, the truth must be told.