There once was a health worker so wary,
Who claimed it the largest outbreak to tarry.
In U.S. history it’s said,
The outbreak widespread,
A record that’s truly quite scary.
There once was a shortage of eggs
The prices would make you beg
But worry not, my dear
For the end is near
And soon the supply will not lag
There once was a student from Springs
Whose hammer throw had great wings
Out of bounds it did fly
At the Colorado Springs meet so high
And left the competition in rings
There once was a dad named Cyrus
Whose son Trace gave him a virus
He posted a clip
Of a song, a sweet trip
With his boy, in a moment so pious.
There once was a man named Joe Gow,
Fired for making porn, oh wow!
He sued the U of W,
Claiming his dismissal askew,
His case, a legal battle now.
There once was a leader, quite bold,
Of Oath Keepers, a group we’re told,
Spotted at Trump rallies,
Amongst the loud rallies,
His presence caused fear to unfold.
There once was a lady named Smith
Whose video caused quite a myth
She said it was spun
But to avoid the stun
She removed it to avoid any pith
There once was a quake from New England,
Felt in every state, what a sensation!
Pennsylvania shook too,
As the ground split in two,
Nature’s power with no hesitation.
There once was a man in custody
Suspected he’d seen the TV shrink before
He protested his innocence loud
But the police were not swayed
In jail, he was locked up for sure
There once was a victim so young,
Under 17, as prosecutors sung.
They sought justice in the court,
For the crimes that they’d report,
In hopes the offender would be stung.