There once was a police department in Johnson City,
Whose investigations were not deemed very witty,
Accused of botching the case,
Of a suspect causing disgrace,
For drugging and assaulting women, what a pity.
A health official from West Texas,
Said some cases were linked to contexts,
In religious schools found,
The virus did abound,
Causing concern and plenty of stress.
There once were two women who bled,
Shot in Philadelphia, it’s said,
But in stable condition,
Despite the awful rendition,
By the shooter who fled with dread.
A Black Hawk was flying with “bad data”
Didn’t hear all instructions, creators say
Collided with a plane
Resulted in pain
Tragic accident on that fateful day
There once was a place called Stonewall,
With a history we protect for all.
It’s a symbol of pride,
In the fight for LGBTQ rights worldwide,
And its legacy will never fall.
There once were two reps from Ohio State
Who wanted to regulate men’s fate
No unprotected sex
Unless baby’s the next
A bold bill they did legislate
There once was a man named Jay-Z,
Who was accused one unfortunate day,
He claimed it was false,
Causing trauma and loss,
For him and his family, so they say.
There once was a late-night host
Who saw the president boast
Of an unexpected claim
That sparked a bit of fame
In a limerick, this tale does coast
There once was a president, a finder
Who received a stark reminder
Of the tasks at hand
In leading the land
And working to be a bit kinder.
There once was a Late Night host,
Whose jokes were always first-rate most.
But one night he cried,
“Oh man,” and sighed,
His punchlines turned into a ghost.