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There once was a lawsuit that claimed
The policy had schools quite ashamed
Resources were diverted
Attendance rates flirted
And education nearly became maimed

There once was a man named Lester,
Who pleaded guilty, feeling the pressure.
For second-degree assault,
He made a plea result,
In a deal that may bring him some pleasure.

There once was a Mayor named Adams,
Whose corruption charges caused some madams,
But the Justice Department said,
To drop them instead,
In Manhattan, where peace now embarks.

There once was a VP so bold
Claimed democracy’s fate could be told
With just a few bucks
Ads could cause such mucks
A strong system, it seems, did not hold

There once was a police department in Johnson City,
Whose investigations were not deemed very witty,
Accused of botching the case,
Of a suspect causing disgrace,
For drugging and assaulting women, what a pity.

A health official from West Texas,
Said some cases were linked to contexts,
In religious schools found,
The virus did abound,
Causing concern and plenty of stress.

There once were two women who bled,
Shot in Philadelphia, it’s said,
But in stable condition,
Despite the awful rendition,
By the shooter who fled with dread.

A Black Hawk was flying with “bad data”
Didn’t hear all instructions, creators say
Collided with a plane
Resulted in pain
Tragic accident on that fateful day

There once was a place called Stonewall,
With a history we protect for all.
It’s a symbol of pride,
In the fight for LGBTQ rights worldwide,
And its legacy will never fall.

There once were two reps from Ohio State
Who wanted to regulate men’s fate
No unprotected sex
Unless baby’s the next
A bold bill they did legislate