Bernie Sanders Scolds Trump For Threatening To Cut NYC Funding If Mamdani Wins

There once was a man from New York
Who threatened to cut off the pork
Said Mamdani should lose
Or funds he’d refuse
In a post that shook up the whole block.

Retired General Blasts Trump, Pete Hegseth’s ‘Insulting,’ ‘Offensive’ Remarks To Military

There once was a General named Hertling
Who found a gathering quite unsettling
He said it was shocking
And filled with much mocking
The troops likely weren’t feeling well

Jesse Watters Defends ‘Toxic Masculinity’ — And Has Notes For His Own Liberal Parents

There once were two Fox TV hosts
Who criticized “toxic masculinity” the most
But they soon changed their tune
And attacked Bad Bunny’s swoon
For the Super Bowl, he’ll be the toast

Kelly Clarkson Wipes Away Tears In Heart-Wrenching Return To Talk Show

There once was a man named August,
Clarkson’s ex-husband, they did trust.
Two children they had,
His passing was sad,
Leaving memories in the dust.

Gavin Newsom Uses Hegseth’s ‘No Fat Troops’ Decree To Mock Trump

There once was a man named Pete Hegseth,
Who wanted to oust soldiers with some extra heft,
Then the governor of California chimed in,
With fat-shaming comments, bringing on a grim grin,
But the troops remained strong, despite the fat-shaming theft.

Trump Boasts He Has ‘Bigger Heart’ Than Reporter Who Corrected Him On Immigrant Health Care

There once was a man, Trump by name,
Who blamed Democrats for the game.
“Medicare for all,”
Was his false call,
In politics, things are never the same.

Ted Cruz’s Gaffe About Pedophilia Is One For The Ages

There once was a senator from Texas,
Who in a hearing made quite a mess,
A verbal slip he did make,
His spokesperson did take,
To explain and clean up the stress.

Federal Officer Violently Shoves Photojournalist To The Ground Outside Immigration Court

There once was a photographer, oh dear,
Injured in a tussle, that’s clear,
To the hospital sent,
In a bit of torment,
Now recovering, we all cheer.