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There once was a man from New York
Who threatened to cut off the pork
Said Mamdani should lose
Or funds he’d refuse
In a post that shook up the whole block.

There once was a General named Hertling
Who found a gathering quite unsettling
He said it was shocking
And filled with much mocking
The troops likely weren’t feeling well

There once were two Fox TV hosts
Who criticized “toxic masculinity” the most
But they soon changed their tune
And attacked Bad Bunny’s swoon
For the Super Bowl, he’ll be the toast

There once was a man named August,
Clarkson’s ex-husband, they did trust.
Two children they had,
His passing was sad,
Leaving memories in the dust.

There once was a man named Pete Hegseth,
Who wanted to oust soldiers with some extra heft,
Then the governor of California chimed in,
With fat-shaming comments, bringing on a grim grin,
But the troops remained strong, despite the fat-shaming theft.

There once was a man, Trump by name,
Who blamed Democrats for the game.
“Medicare for all,”
Was his false call,
In politics, things are never the same.

There once was a senator from Texas,
Who in a hearing made quite a mess,
A verbal slip he did make,
His spokesperson did take,
To explain and clean up the stress.

There once was a photographer, oh dear,
Injured in a tussle, that’s clear,
To the hospital sent,
In a bit of torment,
Now recovering, we all cheer.