‘Trump Is FAR Weaker Than He Looks’: AOC Says GOP Shutdown Plan Already ‘Backfiring’

There once was a Rep named AOC
Who spoke out quite boldly and free
She rallied the Dems
As shutdown loomed grim
With passion and vigor, you see.

‘What The Hell Are You Talking About?’: Colbert Stunned By Trump’s Bizarre Stair Ramble

There once was a host of Late Show,
Who stood in silence, quite slow,
For more than ten ticks,
His mind in a fix,
Puzzled over a question, oh no!

Jimmy Kimmel Responds To Trump’s New Warning With Blunt Lesson In Recent History

There once was a late night host
Who fired back at the president’s boast
He warned the Democrats
With jokes and with rants
But in the end, it was all just a roast

Donald Trump Morphs Into An Entire Mariachi Band In Bonkers New Hakeem Jeffries Deepfake

There once was a president who, with flair,
Doubled down with a racist AI video smear.
But his words caused a uproar,
And he was shown the door,
For his actions were met with great despair.

Bernie Sanders Scolds Trump For Threatening To Cut NYC Funding If Mamdani Wins

There once was a man from New York
Who threatened to cut off the pork
Said Mamdani should lose
Or funds he’d refuse
In a post that shook up the whole block.

Retired General Blasts Trump, Pete Hegseth’s ‘Insulting,’ ‘Offensive’ Remarks To Military

There once was a General named Hertling
Who found a gathering quite unsettling
He said it was shocking
And filled with much mocking
The troops likely weren’t feeling well

Jesse Watters Defends ‘Toxic Masculinity’ — And Has Notes For His Own Liberal Parents

There once were two Fox TV hosts
Who criticized “toxic masculinity” the most
But they soon changed their tune
And attacked Bad Bunny’s swoon
For the Super Bowl, he’ll be the toast

Kelly Clarkson Wipes Away Tears In Heart-Wrenching Return To Talk Show

There once was a man named August,
Clarkson’s ex-husband, they did trust.
Two children they had,
His passing was sad,
Leaving memories in the dust.

Gavin Newsom Uses Hegseth’s ‘No Fat Troops’ Decree To Mock Trump

There once was a man named Pete Hegseth,
Who wanted to oust soldiers with some extra heft,
Then the governor of California chimed in,
With fat-shaming comments, bringing on a grim grin,
But the troops remained strong, despite the fat-shaming theft.

Trump Boasts He Has ‘Bigger Heart’ Than Reporter Who Corrected Him On Immigrant Health Care

There once was a man, Trump by name,
Who blamed Democrats for the game.
“Medicare for all,”
Was his false call,
In politics, things are never the same.

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