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There once was a man named Glasheen,
Whose testimony was quite obscene,
It was called amateur
In U.S. law enforcement, for sure,
His legal knowledge was not keen.

There once was a singer in danger,
Accused the administration of “rage baiting”,
Said it was done to get attention,
For the harsh immigration prevention,
A ploy that was rather enraging.

There once was a woman named Candace
Who spread a wild theory in haste
She claimed Kirk’s death was fake
A Turning Point USA mistake
But her story was just a disgrace

There once was a host named Dave,
Who praised late-night hosts in a rave,
For their work defending democracy,
With humor and great honesty,
Their efforts he did boldly wave.

There once was a state so wet and drippy,
Where floods made the situation quite slippery,
Governor Bob Ferguson, with a plea,
Requested boats for water rescue, you see,
For catastrophic floods were quite nippy.

There once was a president who
celebrated a Christmas miracle, it’s true
With total disregard for life
Causing much anger and strife
In the end, his actions he would rue.

There once was a late-night host
Who mocked the president with the utmost boast
Said he’s at odds with reality
And lacking in rationality
A truth he couldn’t help but toast

The “Daily Show” crowd had a blast,
Over Fox News, an error passed.
They laughed with such glee,
As the mistake they did see,
Their joy in the moment will last.

There once was a host from CNN
Who wondered why critics were so thin
He thought they’d be bolder
If they weren’t afraid to scolder
The president, a big fish in his pen

There once was an adult who died
Several patients in ICU tried
One in need of a liver
Their health did not deliver
In intensive care they all sighed