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There once was a president, so keen
To be a good luck charm on the scene
But his visit to golf
Caused bad luck, oh so wroth
His aim turned into a nightmare dream

There once was a man named Weissmann
Who spotted a move quite a sham
He said, “This gives pause
Due to pressure that’s raw”
From Trump’s campaign, quite a big jam

There’s plenty of issues, no doubt,
Said the people on social media tout,
In a quick post they’d say,
For a better world today,
Let’s address them with a loud shout.

There once was a suspect from Austin,
In the yogurt shop murders he was lost in.
Four girls were killed,
The case left unfulfilled,
Now the police hope to be trustin’.

There once were agents reassigned,
But then the bureau quickly unkind,
Fired them in a snap,
No longer in their trap,
Their fate now forever enshrined.

There once was a host of Late Show
Who compared the president’s post just so
He said it was like
Santa’s knock, what a strike!
A hilarious comparison, we know

There once was a shooter so bold
Who aimed for the NFL employees to scold
But he made a mistake
And the elevator he did take
His intentions were clearly foretold

There once was an attorney from D.C.,
Who brokered deals with much glee,
For Obama and Bush,
And others with hush,
Now at 79, he’s finally free.

There once was an actor so wise
Whose father’s death brought tears to his eyes
In a 2006 chat
He shared this, imagine that
Life changed in the blink of an eye

There once was a Comptroller named Lander
Who saw a video with anger
He said, “United States law
Should never treat with such flaw
Human beings like that, we must be grander.”