New inflation numbers will offer little festive cheer,
Prices rising, causing worry and fear,
The cost of living continues to soar,
Stretching budgets, leaving many poor,
Hope for relief seems nowhere near.
The president, without further dwell,
Pivoted to a more urgent tell,
After wishing the Pope well,
He tackled the news swell,
In hopes his stance would sell.
There once was an ex-Trump ally
Whose actions were bold and sly
She shared a snap with a gun
Encouraging offense to be spun
Now in a probe where the truth will lie
There once was a lineman so tough,
Shot in the leg, it was rough,
At a nightclub one night,
In a San Fran gunfight,
His recovery was long, sure enough.
There once were two royals so grand,
Who left royal life in their hand,
In England they stepped,
Their duties they kept,
Prince Harry and Meghan now stand.
There once was a man named John D.
Charged with crimes quite unsavory
With associates two
They did what they do
Now they face legal scrutiny
There once was a radio host
Who declared, “You’re not here to be a boast
You’re not there to turn anybody on,
Just play the music and carry on,
For that’s what you do best, I can almost boast.”
There once was a GOP candidate
Who predicted the party’s fate
In the state legislature
He spoke with great vigor
In an audio clip, so they state
There once was a woman named Guilfoyle
Whose conduct was met with some turmoil
She resigned from her post
Financial misconduct – the utmost
Now off to new ventures she’ll toil.
There once was a man named Kotlikoff
Whose administration faced a tough scoff
Before the faculty’s ire
He decided to retire
Now Cornell’s Senate can finally scoff