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U.S. stocks are jolting all day,
As oil prices spike in a way,
Due to war with Iran,
But the rise is a ban,
Slowing down in a sway.

There once was a man named Graham,
Who toughened up in a jam,
Spotted at Magic Kingdom’s gate,
Amid government shutdown debate,
Kicking it tough, that’s his program.

There once was a man who was shot,
A bullet fragment was found, but not caught.
The rifle was near,
But the connection unclear,
In the autopsy, the truth would be sought.

There once was a host with some sass,
Who compared the MAGA leader to a lass.
He said Nixon was worse,
In a strong-worded verse,
During Saturday’s protest-filled mass.

There once was a woman named McMahon
Whose take on kids in the classroom was plain
She said they’re not faring well
Since she joined the Cabinet spell
A stunning view that caused quite a pain

There once was a man named Stuart Varney,
Whose guest brought news quite alarming.
As oil prices soared,
And Trump’s war on Iran roared,
Varney found little comfort in charming.

There once was a plan so grandiose,
A library in Miami arose.
For the president’s history,
A towering library,
In Florida, where the warm wind blows.

There once was a “Daily Show” host
Who took the president up on a boast
At an event last week
He decided to seek
And made the strange offer his own boast

There once was a Late Show host so keen,
Who watched No Kings demos on screen,
He saw signs and floats,
With clever quotes,
In the protests, he found a new theme.

There once was a throne, oh so grand,
Trump praised for what he had planned,
Not the economy’s fate,
But the Lincoln Bathroom’s update,
A 10-foot-tall seat in demand.