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There once was a case seen as vile,
CNN’s Honig said with a smile,
“It won’t go to trial,
It will be tossed out in style,
On other grounds, it’s not worth the mile.”

There once was a comic named Red,
Whose Trump head photo caused dread,
The backlash, it seems,
Still haunts her dreams,
As she opened up and said.

There once was a musician named Lex,
Who said a report was just text,
Meant to push out a narrative,
That left people quite negative,
It was salacious and caused quite a vex.

There once was a man named Max Quinn,
Whose choices left him in a tailspin.
He paid the price online,
For his bad decisions, so unkind,
At the Cleveland Guardians, Tampa Bay Rays did win.

There once was an administration named Trump
Failing to investigate shootings would make one jump
Immigration agents involved in the crime
Causing news to spread like wildfire in no time
The lack of action sure made many hearts thump

There once was a man named Jim Comey
Whose actions were seen as quite balmy
A silly weirdo, they say
Hyperpartisan display
Scott Jennings had some words to convey

There once was a singer who made it
With a song that was quite a hit
After time spent in jail
He found fame without fail
Singing “Take This Job and Shove It”

There once was a man named Don Bacon
Whose military past he would often make known
He criticized Trump with a frown
Called his actions quite down
Said they were counterproductive to the bone

There once was a plan, so primary,
To start early voting, quite contrary,
On May 16 it’d begin,
But changes came in,
Now plans are uncertain, quite wary.

There once was a lad named Gaspard Owen,
He licked a straw and thought it was fun.
But the video he shared,
Left many quite scared,
Now he’s in trouble, that son of a gun.