Whirlpool Hikes Prices, Cites ‘Recession-Level Industry Decline’

The company posted a loss, oh dear,
Inflation and Iran war jitters severe,
First quarter was rough,
Their finances were tough,
But with time, they may see good cheer.

How A ‘No-Meme Policy’ Has Boosted Zohran Mamdani’s Time In Office

There once was a mayor so wise,
Who connected with a clever guise,
With a strategy so simple,
It made all people dimple,
New Yorkers now see through clear eyes.

Kitten Survives Tornado After Rescuers Hear His Tiny Meows

There once was a chaser named Lemley
Who found a cat, wet and unkemptly
He said, “Don’t worry, my dear,
I’ll clean you up here.”
Now the kitty is happy and gently.

City Of LA Not Liable In Death Of Teen Girl Hit By Police Officer’s Stray Bullet

In L.A. a girl met a sad fate,
Struck by a stray bullet by mistake,
The jury found the city not to blame,
In the midst of the shootout’s deadly game,
A tragic end sealed her cruel date.

GOP Senator Makes Weird Insinuation About Obama And Colbert: ‘Get A Motel Room’

There once was a senator named Kennedy
Who criticized Colbert, you see
Over an interview with Obama
He thought it was drama
A feud on TV for all to see

Man Pleads Guilty To Murder For Firebomb Attack On Colorado Demonstrators

There once was a man named Soliman,
Who caused quite a stir in Boulder town.
He killed one and injured a dozen,
At a weekly demonstration, buzzin’.
On Pearl Street, chaos was unfurled, man!

‘This Is Not Coronavirus’: Hantavirus Unlikely To Be Next Pandemic Amid Cruise Outbreak, WHO Says

There once was a ship with a scare,
Passengers exposed, unaware,
From 12 countries they came,
Left the ship with no shame,
Now officials issue a warning to beware.

Clarence Thomas Becomes The Second Longest-Serving Justice In Supreme Court History

There once was a judge named Thomas,
Second longest-serving with promise,
He overtook a man,
Nominated by Lincoln’s hand,
A record that’s truly enormous.

‘There’s 1 Thing That Holds His Interest’: MS NOW Host Shares Theory Behind Trump’s Naps

There once was a man named Trump,
Who often took a quick little jump,
He’d fall fast asleep,
While the meeting would keep,
At White House events he’d just slump.

Jon Stewart Reveals Why Tucker Carlson’s Trump Shift Is ‘No Epiphany’

There once was a host from the “Show”
Who criticized Carlson’s new flow
He said the change of tune
Was far from a boon
And found it far from an interesting transformation.

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