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The company posted a loss, oh dear,
Inflation and Iran war jitters severe,
First quarter was rough,
Their finances were tough,
But with time, they may see good cheer.

There once was a mayor so wise,
Who connected with a clever guise,
With a strategy so simple,
It made all people dimple,
New Yorkers now see through clear eyes.

There once was a chaser named Lemley
Who found a cat, wet and unkemptly
He said, “Don’t worry, my dear,
I’ll clean you up here.”
Now the kitty is happy and gently.

In L.A. a girl met a sad fate,
Struck by a stray bullet by mistake,
The jury found the city not to blame,
In the midst of the shootout’s deadly game,
A tragic end sealed her cruel date.

There once was a senator named Kennedy
Who criticized Colbert, you see
Over an interview with Obama
He thought it was drama
A feud on TV for all to see

There once was a man named Soliman,
Who caused quite a stir in Boulder town.
He killed one and injured a dozen,
At a weekly demonstration, buzzin’.
On Pearl Street, chaos was unfurled, man!

There once was a ship with a scare,
Passengers exposed, unaware,
From 12 countries they came,
Left the ship with no shame,
Now officials issue a warning to beware.

There once was a judge named Thomas,
Second longest-serving with promise,
He overtook a man,
Nominated by Lincoln’s hand,
A record that’s truly enormous.

There once was a man named Trump,
Who often took a quick little jump,
He’d fall fast asleep,
While the meeting would keep,
At White House events he’d just slump.

There once was a host from the “Show”
Who criticized Carlson’s new flow
He said the change of tune
Was far from a boon
And found it far from an interesting transformation.