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There once was a woman who dared,
To spar with reporters, she cared,
Defending Trump without end,
Her generation she’d offend,
A visible defender declared.

There once was a data analyst from CNN
Who said the politics were clear, my friend
The elections ahead
Will surely be led
By the numbers, from start to the end

There once was a man named Pete,
Who claimed the reports were deceit.
On the USS Lincoln,
He said with great conviction,
That the conditions were truly elite.

There once was a Rep. named Kinzinger
Who said Leavitt’s departure would linger
A hit for the administration
Caused consternation
In Washington, the mood was somber

There once was a man named Larsen,
Who bought a knife with a plan,
In Utah mall he’d inquire,
About religion, his desire,
Now he faces the law’s stern span.

A deal might delay his state trial,
Murder charges could then go on file.
But if no agreement is reached,
The trial will proceed as beseeched,
Justice sought with the law all the while.

There once was a ship, George Washington,
To the Middle East, it was drawn,
On the Lincoln, issues did loom,
Mental health and supply, gloom,
Now Washington sets sail at dawn.

There once was a woman named McKenna West,
Who claimed she was pressured to give her child rest.
The biological parents fought back,
Saying it was all just political flack.
Their family tragedy put to the test.

In Las Vegas, statements will spar,
The trial’s about to kickstart, hurrah!
With Monday’s dawn,
The legal show’s on,
The case will play out, ta-da!

There once was a man named Platner
Who planned a return with a planter
But sexual assault claims
Ended his campaign’s aims
Now he’s back, facing a banter