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There once was a man named Trump
Who shared a clip with a thump
Of a pastor so bold
Saying the pope is wrong, so I’m told
Just after Rubio’s Vatican jump

There once was a man named Chris Wright,
His gas price prediction caused a fright.
Critics haunted his days,
Over Trump’s war-filled craze,
But Chris stood by his foresight so tight.

There once was a Rep. named Massie,
Who mocked his challenger so sassy.
Ed Gallrein’s message was polished,
But Massie’s response just demolished,
Campaign trail drama got quite classy.

There once was a man of great stature
ADL mourns their director, that’s for sure
In a statement they wept
For the leader they kept
With sorrow their hearts they’ll endure

While the Strait of Hormuz remained closed,
Global energy supplies were imposed,
Oil prices did soar,
Three dollars or more,
On Monday, the market was composed.

There once was a girl named Nancy Guthrie
She disappeared on January 31, you see
Reported missing the very next day
No trace of her found, they simply couldn’t say
Her fate remained a mysterious spree.

There once was a Spur named a star,
Who threw an elbow quite far,
At the throat of young Reid,
In the second, we read,
His frustration went a bit too bizarre.

There once was a man named Colin Jost,
Who advised “SNL” viewers to boast,
“Let the president calm your fears,
Over the deadly outbreak on a cruise ship,” he cheers,
But many still feel like they’re lost.

A user on X once wrote with a laugh,
“It’s not a golden calf, don’t be daft!”
But the truth still remains,
As the idol he gains,
This contradiction just makes us all chaff.

A pilot told ATC.com with dread,
“We’ve hit someone, engines on fire,” he said,
On the runway they stopped,
The tower was floored and dropped,
A dangerous situation ahead.