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There once was a man from Queens,
With legal troubles and scenes,
If he loses his appeals,
He’d have some big ordeals,
As the first felon president it seems.

There once was a woman named X
Whose stance caused quite the effects
Called out for ignorance
Or a political dance
In Congress she faced fierce objects

Lawyers begged the justices, don’t evade,
To intervene before the set date,
For the company and ByteDance,
To give them a chance,
Before the law’s Jan. 19 parade.

There once was a host from the coast
Sentenced for financial boast
In a case of conspiracy
About his media frenzy
Now his startup is but a ghost

There once was a president quite bold,
Who pardoned his co-conspirators, we’re told.
No leader before
Had such gall to ignore
The law, in his actions so cold.

There once was a man with three dogs,
Their sizes as big as tree logs,
At a playground they attacked,
The man was badly smacked,
And sadly died despite the onlookers’ slogs.

There once was a man from Syria
With a history that was quite eerie
He had a violent past
And was detained at last
For less than a month, so contrary.

There once was a lad named Chuck,
Who returned a book with good luck,
He borrowed it in ’74,
When baseball was his core,
Now back to the library with pluck.

There once was a voice named Joyce Vance
In a chorus of backlash, she’d prance
Fifteen million was paid
And Joyce was dismayed
In the agreement, she took a stance.

There once was a man named Geoff Duncan
Who warned of challenges, not fun
He said they’re more serious
Than Trump, quite mysterious
In this country, the battle’s just begun