There once was a man named Bolton,
Who served in Trump’s term, the first one.
He slammed the president’s ways,
An economic craze,
Now their relationship’s surely undone.
There once was a White House secretary,
Who dished on controversies quite contrary,
In a cleverly edited parody,
Trump’s team she did query,
Her words spread like wildfire, quite scary.
There once was a person whom, yes,
Was mentioned in Congress, no less.
A first time for sure,
In the halls, a grand tour,
Now famous, what more can they guess?
There once was a host named Dagen,
Who said the trade adviser was ragin’,
His tariffs were a disaster,
Causing the country to falter,
Kneecapping the United States, he was wagin’.
There once was a man named Trump,
Whose tariffs made Wall Street jump.
Import prices soared,
And traders were floored,
Their profits took quite a big slump.
There once was a President named Trump
Who made foreign trust hit a slump
Rana Foroohar did say
He destroyed it, so they
Must build anew from the dump
There once was a man, Garcia-Aquino
He killed a poor teen, oh no
He dumped the body
By the roadside so shoddy
Now he faces a legal limbo
There once was a man named Gates
Who thought it would be unwise to abate
His children wouldn’t get
Too much, he did fret
Leaving them wealthy, he did debate
There once were five men who did dwell,
Three in Texas, locked up in a cell,
Two more in Orange County,
Their futures quite thorny,
Awaiting their fates, time will tell.
There once was a man named Jones,
Who spread falsehoods with loud megaphones.
Now the court has decreed,
He must pay for his misdeed,
A billion to the victims he bemoans.