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There once was a mayor named Jay,
In Newark, he had his say,
Accusing the facility,
Of poor treatment and inability,
To provide food in any way.

There once were some troops with a plan,
To detain those who threatened the land,
They’d hold them till police,
Could arrest and release,
Protecting all federal grand.

There once was a parade quite grand,
For Trump’s birthday, he had it all planned.
Costing taxpayers a fortune,
More than $45 million, importune.
A display of power so grand.

There once was a man named Trump,
Admiring autocrats, he’d jump.
He’s now getting a parade,
A dictator’s charade,
With Putin, Kim, and Xi in a clump.

There once was a man named Chris Hayes
Who read an email with a gaze
From the president it came
He couldn’t help but exclaim
And laughed in a lighthearted phase

There once were Marines in L.A.
To protect property night and day
With their presence quite bold
They’ll keep things controlled
Ensuring peace will stay in play

There once was a man named Moran,
Who criticized Miller, oh man!
Suspended on Sunday,
Fired on Tuesday,
For words he should’ve kept in his can.

A judge ordered his release, it’s true,
But Trump found a loophole to ensue,
Columbia grad still detained,
Admin’s actions constrained,
The law’s twists and turns never flew.

There once was a bishop named Pham
An immigrant, a pious man
He serves with devotion
In his new-found nation
A spiritual leader with a plan

There once was a man named Padilla,
Who accused Noem of exaggerating with chutzpah,
Two men then came near,
And gave him a cheer,
For standing up to the media’s propaganda.