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There once was a host, full of grace
Who dissected the issues we face
On “Last Week Tonight”
He pulled no punches, quite right
With humor, he took on the race

There once was a president so debatable
Who defended the spectacle quite relatable
Despite all the flack
He wouldn’t backtrack
His decision was firm and unchangeable

There once was a mall in Boulder,
Where chaos began to smolder,
People were hurt,
Some were set on alert,
Injuries left many to ponder.

There once was a man named Musk
Who took drugs while on the campaign bus
Ketamine, ecstasy, and more
He couldn’t resist the allure
Now his actions have caused quite a fuss

There once was a place without vermin,
Till Musk’s Efficiency did determine,
At the Institute of Peace,
Those critters must cease,
Now the building was clean and a-germin’.

There once was a senator named Joni,
Who replied with a tone quite bony,
To concerns about cuts,
In health care and food, what,
She then filmed in a cemetery gloomy.

There once was a duck named Jimmy,
Whose safety made the neighbors happy.
They worried no more,
For Jimmy was secure,
In the neighborhood, feeling quite chummy.

There once was a mogul from the east,
Charged with crimes, his fate to be ceased,
In New York on trial,
For sex trafficking vile,
His future now hangs by a thread.

There once was a President, Trump
Who called Biden’s demeanor a hump
“Don’t feel so sorry,”
“He’s really quite gory,”
Said Trump with a jeeringly lump

There once was a host known as Bill,
Who claimed to understand women’s will,
But his statements were callous,
His words quite malicious,
Just another man talking swill.