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There once was a zoo with great cheer,
Expecting a calf next year,
Nhi Linh was due,
Staff hopeful and true,
For a healthy baby, they did cheer.

There once was a president slumped,
In a photo he looked quite plumped,
Surrendering unconditionally,
Said the MS NOW anchor with glee,
As the news of his downfall was trumped.

There once was a poet named Kimmel
Who found a word so vile, what a quibble
He had to look it up
And felt quite shook up
At the language so crude and uncivil.

There once was a trooper so keen,
Whose gut told him what had been seen,
A mob hit he guessed,
With his instincts impressed,
In Massachusetts, where clues were gleaned.

There once was a year so severe
With fatalities shedding a tear
Exceeding all past
The numbers amassed
Since reporting began, it’s clear

There once were Republicans in station
Sounding alarms for the midterm duration
They warned of the threat
That the next year could get
And fueled the campaign conversation

There once was a host, Late Night,
Who spilled about the president’s starry sight,
In a meeting with the mayor-elect’s might,
Stars in his eyes, oh what a sight,
Late Night’s gossip, a source of delight.

There once was a man named Michael
Whose predictions were quite dismal
He foresaw trouble ahead
For the president’s bed
His warnings were all quite abysmal.

Lauren Greene Sanders was quite a dimwit,
Praised her mother as a “one of a kind Congresswoman.”
But her mom was a crook,
And got caught in a nook,
Now Lauren’s reputation’s in a pit.

There once was an AG from New York
Who received support, prayers as his torque
Grateful for the good
From the whole neighborhood
In limericks, his thanks did he fork