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There once was a host of great wit,
Tore into the admin’s lies quite a bit,
About the nurse’s sad fate,
Truth distorted by hate,
On “Daily Show” he’d never quit.

Every poll on their net approval,
Was negative, said in a bold val,
Their data analyst,
From CNN’s list,
Reported it all with no fervor.

There once was a family, quite cluttered,
Who all knew on which side they were buttered.
They went along with the plan,
For that was the span,
Said the clinical psychologist, quite smothered.

There once was a Late Show host quite bold,
Who called out the administration, we’re told.
After a shooting quite deadly,
In Minneapolis, sadly,
He spoke truth despite how it may scold.

There’s more to the story, it seems,
Said Weissmann with gleam in his eyes,
The truth is obscured by lies,
In the legal world’s intricate schemes,
Andrew Weissmann’s insight redeems.

There once was a Border Patrol crew
Who left Minneapolis and bid adieu
The commander and agents
Would soon be so radiant
Their departure was long overdue

There’s a mayor from New York City,
Who thinks Americans should not pity,
For being asked to deny,
What they see with their own eye,
It’s a truth he thinks rather gritty.

There once was a Beckham named Cruz,
On TikTok, he showed no blues,
He brushed off family drama,
With a smile, no trauma,
A video with joyful news.

There once was a Rep from N.Y.
Who heard his constituents cry
He took all the blame
For their anger and shame
And promised to give it a try.

The Lower 48 states all did hibernate,
Coldest low temps since 2014, the date.
Overnight on Sunday,
All felt the chill, come what may,
A freeze that no one could debate.