There once was a host of Late Show
Who put his network on blast, oh
But he claimed he’s not mad
Just a bit disappointed and sad
As he aired his grievances in a row
There once was a girl named Eileen Gu
Martha MacCallum inquired, what say you?
Should her status be changed,
The veep was estranged,
While the viewers awaited the clue.
There once was a man named Fine,
Whose post was condemned as “disgusting” in line.
He doubled down with glee,
But one problem, you see,
In Florida, his actions did decline.
There once was a man named Trump,
In a do-over vote, he took a dump,
His rival came ahead,
In the poll they led,
Trump’s future now in a slump.
There once was a skier named Bassetti
Who said, “Explain to the president, pretty please
And to Kennedy Jr.,
What you’re skiing for
And why it’s a risk to our health with such ease.”
There once was a truth commission
To review abuse with precision
Allegations were made
At the property’s grade
Owned by a sex offender with no remission
There once was a lawsuit so grand
Claiming flags were banned from the land
The rainbow was shunned
By a law that was spun
To allow Confederate flags to stand.
There once was a family in dread
Their loved one was now lying dead
The call was a shock
Jealousy did unlock
A tragedy no one could’ve foreseen
There once was a skater named Liu
Whose performance was almost too true
Levito and Glenn
Did not reach the top ten
In the women’s short program, it’s true
Six skiers were found, feeling alive,
In a California blizzard, they did survive.
Ten more are still missing,
In the snowstorm’s fierce kissing,
Prayers for all as they strive to revive.