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There once was a man named Trump,
Whose son’s popularity did jump,
CNN’s analyst said,
Support for him spread,
As a possible heir began to thump.

There once was a jump in oil price,
Worsening inflation – not nice,
It had been on the mend,
But prices did ascend,
Economists were caught by surprise.

There once was a man, Rushdie by name
Whose body had wounds, all the same
He testified true
Of his body’s debut
But his aim or ambition, he did not proclaim.

There once was a man named Rivera,
Who called out the BS of a naysayer.
“If they can’t answer that question,
Then everything else is a confession,”
He quipped on a Wednesday, a true player.

There once was a man named Vance Boelter,
Guilty of crimes that made everyone falter,
He killed the Speaker and spouse,
Shot a senator in his house,
Now locked up, his fate set to alter.

There once was a girl named Lexi
Whose life ended far too quickly
In a shooting so tragic
It left us all quite magic
Nineteen students lost, hearts so sickly

There once was a man named McConnell
Whose health was a topic to dispel
A tribute was sent
To his well-being, it went
Raising questions, what would time tell?

A CNN data guru did say
The veep’s losing steam, come what may
While a GOP candidate’s rise
Has been quite a surprise
In the early primary poll today

There once was a secretary new,
In Homeland Security, it’s true.
Just four months in the role,
With a very tough goal,
To keep the country safe, through and through.

There once was a business, they say,
Sharing Colbert’s old magic each day,
With guests in a special display,
They brought the humor to stay,
In a unique and fun-filled array.