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There once was a girl named Lindsey,
Whose sister got quite a bit frisky.
She tried to spin her rise,
But got hit with the cries,
Of a reality check that was risky.

There once was a team that was great
Record-setting sums sealed their fate
LeBron James left, now a free agent
Their success was quite blatant
But they’ll find a way to create

There once was a president, they say,
Whose actions did cause some dismay.
Contrasting his image,
Of being tough as scrimmage,
Last month showed a different display.

Here are the most baffling parts
About the U.S. – it’s where the arts
And the culture collide
With fast food on the side
Visitors find it hard to depart

There once was a Marine named Gilman,
In Russia, his fate was quite grim,
For four long years he’s been held,
On charges that many have repelled,
In Massachusetts, they pray for him.

There once was a host of “Last Word”
Covered news that many had heard
His monologue strong
Backed his thesis along
In limericks his tales were concurred

There once was a guest on Maddow,
Who said anger was truly palpable, wow.
The people were mad,
And they weren’t too glad,
Their emotions were ready to blow.

There once was a man from the west,
Who tried to put the president to the test,
Not guilty by reason of insanity,
In 1982, he was set free,
A failed assassination attempt at best.

There once was a party so full of merriment
But now it’s an utter embarrassment
Tomi Lahren did write
How the GOP lost its might
In disgrace, they now lament

There once was a host named MS NOW
Who explained how officials in a Danish territory vowed
To take on an oil firm so grand
Their fight was well planned
In the end, the firm had to kowtow.