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A young woman named Hannah has flown,
To L.A., but now she’s unknown.
With texts that confuse,
Her family’s alarmed,
In Hawaii, their worry has grown.

In a docuseries on view,
Secrets of wild girls will ensue,
With stories and strife,
From former life,
Exposing old tales, fresh and new!

A leprechaun hears news so stark,
From Walmart and Lowe’s comes a mark,
With tariffs in play,
Prices may sway,
So shoppers might soon feel a spark!

In the Sunshine State’s lively scene,
Lara Trump’s made quite the routine,
With a brand for the fit,
While the Senate she’swit,
Will she lead, or just keep it routine?

In Georgia, where votes were made clear,
Giuliani’s words sparked some fear.
Ruby and Shaye,
In court did say,
“His slander’s a mess we can’t bear!”

In Minnesota, the eagles took flight,
Their nest fell apart in a fright.
With a new camera high,
Fans will cheer as they try,
To watch parents raise chicks day and night!

In the House, McGovern gave fire,
On Trump’s picks, he did strongly conspire.
“With this dream team so sly,
It’s a joke—oh my my!
If it weren’t sad, we’d all just admire!”

In a chat with a former GOP man,
Cooper laid out a blunt, honest plan.
“Release that report,
On Gaetz we implore,
Let’s clear out the muck, if we can!”

In a study, they found quite a thrill,
Hurricanes strengthened against their will.
Since two thousand and nineteen,
Eighteen mph, it’s seen,
Nature’s fury has turned up the chill!

In a supercut shared with great flair,
Fox pundits showed quite the affair.
They praised all the players,
But just for their layers,
When right views were graced with a dare!