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There once was a congresswoman bold
Who left the Republicans, we’re told
A massive move she hinted
After she had printed
Her departure, a story to be retold

UEFA said with passion and zest,
We’ll boycott FIFA’s event fest,
For selling the sport’s soul,
Is beyond our control,
In football, we won’t be oppressed.

There once was a woman named Bash
Who confronted a man with a rash
He tried to spread doubt
But she called him out
And left him feeling quite brash.

There once was a man from Idaho,
Who caused quite a tragic show,
In a fast-food diner,
He turned out a real briner,
By taking his own life as the blow.

There once was a fire, big and grand,
In the northwest it took its stand,
Keila Vizcarra did say,
The team’s on their way,
To control the blaze and lend a hand.

There once was a league in the rain,
For women with baseball to gain.
They played with such flair,
In the wet, they did dare,
Reviving the sport once again.

There once was a player named Skubal
Joined Dodgers, a team that stands tall
With Ohtani and Betts
Yamamoto, no regrets
Now they’re ready to conquer them all

There once was a bank quite bold
Tied money laundering to Trump’s hold
The disclosure they made
Left many dismayed
For Trump’s family business, the story told

There once was an admin quite lame,
Looked like a monkey in shame,
Intimate with a ball,
Scott Jennings did call,
A terrible and laughable game.

There once was a man named Fauci,
Excoriated and extolled, oh so saucy.
He spoke of immunity,
But few heard with impunity.
Michael Smerconish’s words echoed, quite bossy.