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There once was a captain named Kane
Red-carded by fans for his claim
He confessed his mistake
And faced the backlash’s ache
In England, he lost his good name

There once was a man named Graham,
Whose actions brought much shame,
Schmidt didn’t mourn his end,
But the country he did rend,
Graham’s legacy will forever be stained.

There once was a field at MetLife,
Where players would squawk in much strife,
The surface was bad,
It made them quite mad,
The complaints about it were rife.

There once was a late-night host
Who came back from his break to roast
A longtime GOP lawmaker
His jokes were quite sharp, no faker
The audience laughed the most

NATO allies and Israel too,
Honored Graham for all that he’d do.
They paid tribute with pride,
For the ties that he’d ride,
A friend of trans-Atlantic view.

A ship from Cyprus hit by Iran,
Suffered damage, a civilian’s gone,
Engineroom took a hit,
Crew member missing, that’s it,
U.S. Command reported this con.

There once was a man named Trump
Whose supporters let out a loud thump
At the sight of a former PM
Hopping on screen, oh how grim
Their feelings were strong, they did jump

There once was a strategist who railed,
At “left-wing idiots” he assailed,
Blamed Sanders for Clinton’s loss,
In 2016, what a toss,
His words left many quite derailed.

There once was a man named Ty Cobb
Who claimed Trump had a sly job
To control the elections
With his cunning reflections
Playing a dangerous political squab.

There once was a leader named Trump
Who threatened to make Iran a dump
He vowed to decimate
And obliterate
But soon realized he was in a slump