Megyn Kelly Visibly Stunned By Bleak Midterms Forecast: ‘Oh, Good God!’

There once was a wave, said Kelly, “wow,”
More than blue, we’re a tidal wave now.
With power so vast,
We’ll surely outlast,
And leave our opponents to cower and bow.

Former ‘American Idol’ Singer Caleb Flynn Convicted Of Fatally Shooting His Wife

There once was a man named Flynn,
Who played music with a grin.
But the jury’s quick decision,
Caused him much derision,
For his fate was sealed in a spin.

Mike Johnson Makes Winning Midterms Argument — But For Democrats

There once was a man named Johnson
Promising to keep things the same
But his policies led to a war
With Iran, causing prices to soar
Now voters see through his deception

GMA’s Will Reeve Reveals Testicular Cancer Diagnosis At Age 34

A young man named Will Reeve,
Said, “This year has been defined by change.”
Three months post-wedding he learned,
Of a diagnosis, his heart churned,
In sickness and health, he must rearrange.

Six Flags Magic Mountain Retires Roller Coaster Amid Brain Injury Lawsuits

There once was a park in SoCal,
Where a man met a tragic downfall,
On the X2 coaster ride,
He sadly passed to the other side,
A lawsuit they settled, overall.

NY Knicks Still Discussing If They Will Visit Trump At White House: Coach

There once was a coach named Mike Brown,
Who said his team might come to town.
To visit the White House,
And see President Trump’s spouse,
As the first champs, they won the crown.

Trump Says Top Tech Firms Have Signed Accord To ‘Self-Police’ AI Development

There once was a man named Trump
Who signed a pact with a thump
AI companies agreed
To review, plant the seed
For tech to improve, not just jump

Jake Tapper Grills District Attorney Over Handling Of Cornell Gang Rape Allegations

There once was an anchor on CNN,
Who questioned with vigor and yen,
“Did your office not see
What happened? Tell me!”
Inquiring why they hadn’t delved in.

Parents Of Arizona State Hockey Player Who Collapsed Want Coaches Placed On Leave

There once was a lad named Mayich,
Collapsed during a workout so rich,
His parents demand
The coaches be banned,
Till an investigation, they switch.

You’ve Never Seen Rain Like This In NSFW Weather Report

There once was a man who found it alluring,
To chat about weather, never a snoring,
The rain and the sun,
Were always such fun,
His passion for forecasts was soaring.

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