There once was a Fox News host in a flurry
Reminded by social media in a hurry
Of his awkward romantic history
Causing him much misery
Now his past is public and blurry
There once were ICE agents so bold
Who targeted Latinos, we’re told
Based on a database
Their actions misplaced
Seizing more than their share, we scold
There once was a Phillie who’s keen
On squeezing toothpaste, it seemed,
Straight from the tube into his mouth,
No toothbrush north or south,
His dental routine quite extreme.
There once was a man named Keith Morris
Who told hecklers to get off his chorus
They were angered by his views
But he sang the news
The Circle Jerks frontman who’s uproarious
There once was a woman named Whitmer,
Who never thought she’d be a governor,
“I should know better,” she said with a sigh,
“Never say never,” was her reply,
Now leading with grace, she’s a true reformer.
There once was a CNN anchor so bold
Who questioned if gas and food should be sold
To those who struggle to pay
Is it fair, she did say
Injustice, the story she told
A fire in Dallas did rage,
Destroyed a two-story stage,
Fatalities and injuries high,
Fire officials let out a sigh,
The loss was felt by the whole city’s gauge.
There once was a reporter, they say,
Ousted for questioning Weiss’ sway,
She pulled the segment,
Causing great torment,
In Salvadoran prisons that day.
There once was a bill worth two fifty,
With a president’s face that was nifty,
Some said it’s a cult,
The Founders revolt,
For them, it was all too iffy.
Rescuers are trying to reach four climbers
Who fell on Alaska’s Mount McKinley’s timber
North America’s tallest peak
They’re facing weather bleak
National Park Service now takes the limbers