‘Good Riddance’: D.C. Politicians On Both Sides React To Pam Bondi’s Firing

There once was a story of glee
Politicians cheered happily
Bondi’s canning they praised
In harsh terms, they appraised
Their social media posts were quite free

Drive-By Detention: 800 New Yorkers Swept Up In ‘Collateral’ ICE Arrests

Of “collateral” arrests they proclaim,
85% had no criminal claim,
ICE data reveals,
In their custody deals,
Innocents caught in the agency’s game.

Kid’s Excitement About The ‘Frickin Moon!’ At Artemis II Launch Makes Him An Instant Star

There once was a boy who was witty,
Answering a CNN query so gritty.
His response was so sly,
Like a comet in the sky,
Leaving the reporter feeling quite bitty.

EPA Moves To Designate Microplastics, Pharmaceuticals As Contaminants In Drinking Water

There once was a man named Zeldin,
Pressed to crack down on pollution and sin.
As EPA head, he felt the heat,
To clean up the world, make it neat,
His efforts to clear air and water win.

James Carville Issues Dire Warning For Trump’s ‘F**king Ass’ In Blistering NSFW Rant

There once was a strategist bold,
Predicting Trump’s future, we’re told,
After midterms in November,
Democratic fervor did engender,
In limericks, his story is told.

Oil Jumps And Wall Street Wavers After Trump Vows To Escalate Attacks On Iran

Stocks on Wall Street had a brief scare,
But soon recovered with some flair.
Volatility returned,
But investors weren’t too concerned,
With gains making the market more fair.

‘I’m Not A Child Psychologist’: House Dem Hits Trump With Brutal Diagnosis Over Iran War Speech

There once was a Rep from the East,
Who couldn’t quite spot Trump’s great feast.
He pondered with dread,
What lies ahead,
In the Middle East, not the least.

Harvard’s Laurence Tribe Shreds Trump Over 2 Unconstitutional Efforts

A scholar of law, quite astute,
Gave an education quite acute,
On MS NOW’s “The Last Word”,
After justices heard,
Birthright citizenship dispute.

Death Of Refugee Left At Doughnut Shop By Border Patrol Is Ruled Homicide

There once was a man from Shah Alam,
Found dead on a Buffalo street’s calm,
Border Patrol agents said,
He can’t be deported, ’tis dread,
Now his fate is a sad, tragic psalm.

Trump Just Explained How To Earn His Love — And It’s Being Called A Moment Of ‘Total Honesty’

There once was a president, you see,
Who admitted he was easily “seduced” as can be.
He confessed with a grin,
That temptation would win,
And he found himself in quite a spree.

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