Lindsey Vonn’s Olympic Prep Takes Scary Turn After World Cup Crash

There once was an Olympian so great,
Left limping with a knee in a state,
Winter games brought her fame,
But now in pain, what a shame,
Keeping weight off her knee is her fate.

‘Very Dangerous’: Trump Hits Canada With His Strangest Warning Yet

There once was a president in office
Critics on social media made a promise
They gave him the cold shoulder
Over a comment that was bolder
But he continued on with zero remorse

Venezuela’s Acting President Signs Oil Industry Overhaul, Easing State Control To Lure Investors

There once was a strike in Syria,
From the U.S., it was quite eerie,
Weeks had passed by,
With a loud battle cry,
In the country, the tension was dreary.

Trump’s Board Of Peace Backfires; More Nations Now Support United Nations

There once was a president bold,
Who tried to avoid the U.N. fold,
But his plan went awry,
And caused powers high,
To reaffirm their support, we’re told.

Trump-Voting Comedian Torches White House Over ‘F**king Disgusting’ Spin Of Alex Pretti Death

There once were some officials in charge
Who used a sad event to enlarge
Their power and their fame
By unfairly placing blame
On the victim of a shooting so large.

Microsoft Stock Tumbles 12.1% In Worst Day For Company In Years

A software company’s lonely top,
Caused the S&P 500 to drop,
With more than two-thirds,
It caused market woes,
Their stock price took quite the big flop.

Critics Roast Melania Trump’s Documentary With Memes — And They’re More Entertaining Than The Actual Film

There once was a president named Trump,
Who said tickets were selling a lump,
But photos revealed,
Empty seats unconcealed,
Proving his claim was just a dump.

Microsoft Plunges, Meta Rallies As Investors Demand AI Payoffs

There once was a tech giant named Microsoft,
Whose cloud business did not meet the trust,
Their market value did drop,
While Meta came out on top,
With a gain that left them feeling robust.

Albatross Startles Researchers By Making Rare Appearance Off California Coast

There once was a bird of great fame,
Spotted north of its normal claim,
Only the second time seen,
In lands so lush and green,
A rare sight, bringing much acclaim.

Ex-Obama Adviser Warns Dems Not To Push ICE Abolition: ‘People Believe You Should Come To The Country Legally’

There once was a man named Axelrod
Who thought immigration enforcement flawed
Both Dems and Reps, he said
Would not want it to be dead
In large numbers, the idea was flawed.

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