There once was a man named Rumiantsev,
Who assaulted a boy named Barron Trump’s intervention more than a year ago.
He was jealous, it’s true,
Of his girlfriend’s friendship with Barron, that’s the clue,
Now he faces a conviction, oh woe!
There once was a man named Finley,
Whose actions were always so timely.
He finished his task,
No need to ask,
His work was done, so finely.
There once was a senator named Tillis
Who called for a secretary’s dismissal
The president got quite mad
But Tillis wasn’t sad
He stood by his decision, relentless.
There once was an email that pled,
“Are you a proud American Citizen or does ICE need to come and track you down?” it said.
But the message was fake,
Just a scammer’s mistake,
So ignore it and go back to bed.
There once was a senator named Thillis,
Who excoriated two MAGA officials,
Their job performance he found unacceptable,
And their rhetoric about Alex Pretti was neglectable,
In North Carolina, his words were official.
There once was a beast on the loose,
In Pacific Heights it did cruise,
Authorities warned,
The residents scorned,
As they feared the animal’s abuse.
There once was an MS NOW host,
Who called out the Republicans most,
For supporting the administration’s trend,
Their loyalty she did condemn,
An extensive list she did boast.
Some people thought that the president
Accidentally made a great campaign ad, hence
For the Democrats, this was gold
His words were bold
Their support may now be heaven-sent
There once was a man with a gun,
Looking to cause trouble for fun.
But the Border Patrol fought,
And the trouble he sought,
Came back to him when all was said and done.
My brother is, my hero so dear,
Micayla wrote, shedding a tear.
A tribute so sweet,
His presence so complete,
In Minneapolis, he shines like a seer.