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There once was a consumer who sighed,
As confidence took quite a slide,
In January it fell,
And Americans could tell,
Their finances were in for a ride.

There once was a late night host,
Who grew emotional the most,
As he spoke of the killing,
Of a nurse, so unwilling,
His tears making his audience engrossed.

Jury selection starts this week
In LA, where the judges do speak
All potential jurors are called
To ensure justice is installed
In the court, where the truth they seek

There once were two artifacts quite old,
From 430,000 years ago we’re told.
They were found in a cave,
A fascinating treasure to save,
Their history a mystery to unfold.

There once was a snowboarder named Ryan,
He fled to Mexico, his fate was relyin’,
As a fugitive he’d hide,
But the FBI didn’t let him slide,
Now he’s back in custody, no more lyin’.

There once was a toll estimated,
To show how dissenters were baited.
The violence deployed
By the government annoyed,
In limericks, the truth is related.

There once was a president bold,
Who talked to a reporter, we’re told.
Questions about his health,
Caused him some stealth,
As the story rapidly unrolled.

There once was a man named Blatter,
Who told fans to stay away from the USA,
For the soccer showcase this summer,
His advice seemed quite a bummer,
But fans will still come to play!

There once was a host of great wit,
Tore into the admin’s lies quite a bit,
About the nurse’s sad fate,
Truth distorted by hate,
On “Daily Show” he’d never quit.

Every poll on their net approval,
Was negative, said in a bold val,
Their data analyst,
From CNN’s list,
Reported it all with no fervor.