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There once was a VP quite bold,
Whose secrets were often told.
Soboroff did say,
He let it all sway,
Now his mysteries unfold.

There once was a coach from afar,
Who claimed the host was subpar,
After Friday’s match,
He made quite a batch,
And left with a rather low bar.

There once was a Party quite clear,
Its brand was just fueled by fear,
Ocasio-Cortez said,
As she shook her head,
Republican’s brand is quite near.

There once was a curmudgeon so dear,
Who didn’t want feedback to hear,
For his new show so grand,
“Life, Larry” unplanned,
The pursuit of unhappiness near.

There once was a giraffe from the South,
Who wandered far from her mouth.
In Texas Hill Country she’d be,
Spotted clearly and free,
During an aerial search from the south.

There once were some stocks, AI,
Whose profits just couldn’t comply,
Their prices soared high,
While profits ran dry,
Investors began to say bye.

A jury deadlocked, couldn’t agree,
On three charges for Rinderknech, you see,
Accused of the blaze,
In the year of 2025 craze,
Now the case brings uncertainty.

There once was a man named Scott Jennings
Who stopped tracking gas prices for good reasons
He said with a grin
“We don’t run it, my friend”
Now we’re left wondering what the season.

There once was a host named Tapper
Who found news that did cause a clapper
In a book that was fresh
Told of Trump’s latest mesh
Of regime change plans that did flapper

There once was a man named Rossi,
Accused of a crime so bossy,
Faked his own death,
To escape his last breath,
Now he’s gone and left us all saucy.