Carlos Alcaraz Gets Surprise U.S. Open News Live On Air: ‘Really? Oh My God’

There once was a champion in a text,
Who was quite surprised, I must confess.
To learn who he’d be playing next,
But he remained calm, not perplexed,
And played his best, with no pretext.

James Talarico Has A No-Nonsense Response To Donald Trump’s ‘Talafreako’ Taunts

There once was a candidate from Texas,
Who hit the president with a nexus,
A reality check,
That left him a wreck,
In the Senate race, a perplexus.

Art Garfunkel Says Donald Trump Has Him Thinking About A Dramatic Life Change

There once was a man who found shocking,
His discovery left him with mocking,
He gasped and he stared,
His eyes wide and scared,
At the sight that had him truly rocking.

‘South Park’ Returns From Hibernation To Poke Trump In His Sorest Of All Sore Spots

A show won an Emmy, hooray!
For an episode that caused quite a stir one day
They turned the president
Into a joke, quite insolent
An award for their risky display!

Longtime MS NOW Anchor Alex Witt Signs Off After 27 Years

There once was a man who did insist
That reaching his goal would be bliss
He worked day and night
And never lost sight
“I knew it would be hard to get to this.”

Dolly Parton’s Sister Blasts ‘Fake AI Garbage’ Tied To Singer After Weird Trump Post

There once was a woman named Stella
Whose family faced pressure and fella
She revealed their plight
Causing quite a fright
From strangers who were less than stellar.

Trump Administration Makes Another Appeal To The Supreme Court To Allow Mail Ballot Restrictions

The Trump administration’s plight,
To the Supreme Court takes flight,
New ballot rules were barred,
In the midterms, they’re scarred,
Hoping for a legal fight.

‘And If He Can’t…’: Fox News Host Gives Missing Mitch McConnell A Blunt Ultimatum

There once was a man named Joe Concha,
Who called out the former majority leader, a loner.
Months passed by,
With no sign of the guy,
In the chamber his absence did grower.

Vivek Ramaswamy Slammed By Ohio Opponent For ‘Jetting Off’ To The U.S. Open

There once was a billionaire bold,
Who from town frequently strolled,
On occasions galore,
He skipped out the door,
Leaving many a story untold.

At Least 5 Dead In Amazon Plane Crash At Miami International Airport

A cargo plane crashed off the runway,
Injuring at least five, they say.
Colliding with cars,
It burst into stars,
Officials watched in dismay.

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