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There once was a man named Trump
Who wanted to look like a champ
With a military parade
Dictator-like charade
But his image just hit a big slump

At our graduation, full of glee,
Police outside to guard us, you see,
ICE raids we did dread,
But we got our degrees instead,
Celebrating with family and glee.

There once was a man named Worldwide
Fans dressed up in bald caps with pride
They wore goatees and suits
To show their repute
At his concert at the O2, they all cried

There once was a man from Iran,
Who declared with a defiant plan,
“We won’t abandon our right,
To enrich uranium at night,”
His words sparked a global fan.

There once was a popular buy,
From Amazon it came, oh my!
But beware of its heat,
It can make things quite fleet,
This purchase can get a bit toasty!

There once was a science guy
Who shared texts that caught the eye
From Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
Miles and miles, that’s for sure
In Men’s Health, where they can’t deny

There once was a researcher so keen,
Whose work was the best ever seen.
Her attorney did say,
She might move away,
To keep her research sweet and clean.

There once was an ESPN analyst
Who floated a run with a twist
Famous supporters in line
To help him shine
In the race, he can’t be dismissed.

A Walmart stakeholder named Christy,
In The New York Times ad got quite twisty,
“It’s not for sale,” she did wail,
Our country’s honor, dignity, not retail,
In integrity, we must be thrifty.

Although Nick Watt hinted at fights,
Pot makes people mellow at heights.
Tensions may rise,
But most are quite wise,
And choose peace over senseless bites.