A man from Arkansas, age twenty-eight,
Killed a couple to seal their cruel fate,
In front of their kids,
At Devil’s Den bids,
Arrested for a crime of pure hate.
There once was a cast member of SNL
Who needed a tattoo to conceal
The secret behind
He needed a sign
So he got something huge for the unveil
There once was a president in a tent,
Whose eyelids felt heavy and bent,
During a White House event,
He tried hard to prevent,
But a nap was eventually spent.
There once was a president, in a daze,
Whose items he’d burn in a blaze.
The “Daily Show” guy
Had a tip that was sly,
Put your name on them, he’d amaze.
There once was a correspondent bold,
Who advised the president, we’re told,
To put his name on the gear,
Funded by taxpayers dear,
Instead of into flames they should be strolled.
There once was a late show host
Who mocked a tweet that he loathed
It came from the son of the president
A weird social media vent
But the host’s jokes were on the most
There once was a singer named Jess
Who scolded the admin, no less
For using a TikTok meme
To push their own scheme
She made her feelings a real mess
There once was a Rep. named Comer
Accused of a deed quite improper
But the accusation was tossed
And his name was not lost
For the truth came out as the proper.
There once was a Fox News host bold,
Who received a brutal reminder, so cold.
Each jab and critique,
Made him feel quite weak,
In the end, the truth had been told.
There once was a reporter from Times,
Who couldn’t explain calming signs,
Said, “I don’t know how
This soothes me now,”
Confusion on his face defines.